where am i going??

omg, i'm fucking overwhelmed. lowkey bustin' at the seams. i want to go everywhere!!!!

listen tho, i don't know what i'm doing. i've researched so many places, but...

i've only been out of the country ONE TIME. to canada. in 2024. using flight points to new york and a $20 bus ticket into toronto.

"vacation" is a thing i've never really been able to... soak up and fully enjoy.

i always dreaded leaving work. i got behind. i felt bad. i hated catching up when i got back. i never rly deleted Microsoft Teams off my phone. it was a vibe i picked up on in my early 20's. i struggled with gastritis a lot from stress, so i thought "oh, if i don't turn work off, then i'll be less stressed, thus less sick"... i vacationed sparsely and never more than a week at a time.

HINDSIGHT - i've had more people & therapy in my life tell me my relationship with work isn't normal. OOPS.

trust, i've been trynna work on it!! it's hard to unwire, man.

while i'm telling myself i'm ready to GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... i'm not, yet.

to go from 0 to 100 - seems like some shit you gotta get your mind & body right for, y'know?

mind:

• i gotta get outta my ~profesh bitch mindset about life; be less productive & less efficient without a list for a hot minute.

  
  

• since there is no job for me to go back to, i have no choice but to learn HOW to simply ~enjoy ~the ~vacation.

body:

you know L from Death Note? malnourished lookin', tired, sittin' in a hunched position, knees crunched up, eatin' sweet treats? yehhhh, that's been me at my computer for a decade.

• i gotta beef up a lil and learn how to beat a man's ass, for self-defense emergencies!

• i'm not a "3 meals a day" kinda person. i'm less efficient after i eat. bleh... i read adults don't eat enough fiber, tho. that seems important for me to care about before i travel!

  
  

OK so after a lil of that - i will GO places and i will document the shit out of it... on this website! i'll include info about citizenship in these places as well, if you're ever curious about leaving america someday as well :)